On top of the world

"Running is a mental sport, and we're all insane." --not sure who said this, but gosh is it true.  We had this quote on the back of our cross country shirts in high school and it still holds true for me to this day.  As you all will remember, my first 20 miler was quite the challenge. It was hot, I was alone, and I had a less than stellar attitude about the whole thing long before I took my first step.  My mentality is what played the biggest factor in my first 20 miler turning out less than what I had expected. I was determined to make sure that didn't happen again on my next long run. 

I had 10 days to prepare for my next attempt at 20 miles and I had it planned out perfectly.  My husband and sister planned on riding road bikes next to me while I ran on a local bike path.  They would carry water bottles on the bikes, and cell phones for musical enjoyment, and I would carry my Gu/fuel. The plan was to see how many miles I could cover in 3 hours.  I figured on around an 8:27ish pace, so told them that we would be likely riding around 7.0-7.3 miles per hour. The bikes have speedometers on them so they would be able to keep track of that if they wanted.

I planned my outfit based on my projected race day attire, but it was chilly so I went with a tech tee and a wind breaker type jacket to start.

Love my CEP socks, Oiselle arm warmers, stride shorts, KT tape for my sore knee, and my fabulous Mizuno Wave Creation's!

 

We got to the trail later than planned due to a pit stop along the way, and then flat bike tires that took awhile to get aired up.  But I was staying positive no matter what. I wasn't going to let my mind win. I wasn't going to let anything mess with this day and this run.  This was my last chance to prove to myself that I belong on that starting line, I belong in the marathon, and I AM capable of qualifying for Boston. 

 

Just before we got started.

 

So off we went.  The first couple of miles were fine, easy even.  I was running in the low 8's and kept thinking that I was going too fast, but with Jordan right beside me and April right behind me, I had the momentum to keep going at that pace so I didn't even attempt to back off.  Jordan mentioned a few times what our mph were and would tell me if I had sped up at all.  After a few of the announcements I told him I wasn't worrying about mph or pace, and I was going to run the rest based on effort.  I finally started ignoring my watch around mile 5 and just let the miles fly by.  We had some Beatles, Michael Jackson, Disney music, Avenged Sevenfold, Greek Fire, and plenty of other awesome tunes to help me forget about the length of time I was going to be out there.  I never listen to music when I run, but it helped so much.  It never distracted me from my run or my pace, but it helped pass the time faster since I couldn't gab the whole time due to my increased effort.  I was able to talk and didn't feel out of breath but didn't want to waste energy so I kept the talking to a minimum.  Around mile 7 (I think), April took my jacket because I was getting hot.  My miles were flying by at this point, I was passing people on the trail, smiling or giving a little wave, feeling awesome the whole time.  I looked down at my watch one time and saw a 7:20 around mile 10 and couldn't believe it.  I could feel myself pushing the pace some of the time, but still had so much energy at the halfway point.  I was getting excited to see what my 13.1 time would be.  I crossed the 90 minute (the true half way point) mark having ran 11.6 miles! I was running sub 8 pace at this point and knowing that just gave me the momentum to keep pushing. I wasn't looking at my watch at every mile mark so I had no idea just how good I was doing most of the time, I was just running on effort, something I hadn't done enough of through my training.

 

April took a video of me, it's posted on her Facebook page for those of you that are friends with her.  I crossed 13.1 miles in 1:43:20, my second fastest attempt at the half marathon distance, during a 3 hour run!  I crossed the 15 mile mark in 1:59, my fastest 15 miler ever.  I set out on 2 hour runs most weeks with the goal of reaching 15 miles in under that time, today was the first time I made it in under 120 minutes! :) The trail we were on was 8 miles long, so we turned around to head back out at 16 miles and I immediately felt the fatigue start setting in.  I ran an 8:48 and a 9:02 for miles 16 & 17, but considering many of my miles had been under 8:00 I didn't feel too bad about this.   

 

Miles 18 & 19 were foggy and my Garmin was acting up, but we turned around at the 19 mile mark with 3 miles to go.  I told myself not to wimp out and to push the last 3 like it was a regular every day 3 mile run. No big deal.  The music was rocking, the bike wheels were turning, my legs were aching and I felt like my feet were flying.  April set out some motivation for me and I attempted to catch people in front of me like she told me to do.  It looked like I might make 22 miles in under 3 hours and I told myself I would stop at 22 miles, that would be enough torture for my legs for one day.  The last mile I pushed and I pushed.  I swung my arms faster when I felt like my legs might fail me.  The elation I felt, knowing I was going to finish this run in almost the same time I'd done 20 miles the week before, is what helped me finish so strong.  April yelled out, "I don't know how you're doing this!" As I picked up the pace for the last 1/2 mile. Jordan said I was running way up over 8 mph for most of the last mile. He kept telling me to push it, to not give up, reminding me of the distance left the closer we got to my "finish line". My watch beeped for 22 miles, the last mile in 7:45!, and I slowed to a stop and looked down at my watch.

 

Holy cow! I'd say I beat my goal of 8:27/pace!

 

I was so happy, and so sore and stiff. My gait was terrible as I held my hips and hobbled to the car.  April pushed her bike next to me as we talked about the run and how things had gone.  I was in shock.  To qualify for Boston I have to run 8:12 pace for 26.2 miles.  Today I ran fast enough to allow myself 37 minutes to complete the last 4.2 miles and still qualify, more than doable as long as things kept going right. 

10 days prior I was ready to throw in the towel, say to heck with marathons and just survive the rest of my training and finish this race.  After those 22 miles I was on top of the world, knowing I am meant to run this race, and plenty more marathons if I put my mind to it and run with my heart.

 

My Josee Hope was on my heart the entire race.  When I would get tired I would glance down at my hand, where I had written her name before the run, and remind myself to pick up my feet and push harder, for her.  For all of the Down Syndrome sweeties like her.  She is such sweet motivation and I can't wait to race for her in 18 days!

 



 



Misery loves company

My long run last week was just that, miserable.  And as much as the misery would have loved company, I had to traverse all 20 miles solo...hence the main reason it was so darn miserable! 

But I'm looking on the bright side, I ran 20 flippin miles, all by myself, never stopped to walk one time, and I did it faster than I could have ever run in the past.  20 miles is the farthest I have ever run without stopping.  In my first marathon I had to start walk/running at around mile 16ish I think (it was 10 years ago, gimme a break, I can't remember for sure). So aside from my legs protesting, my GI system hating me, and my poor feet aching, I'm quite pleased with my first 20 miler in preparation for my upcoming marathon.  I have another 20+ miler planned for March 30th, thankfully this time I'll have my awesome hubby and sis riding along on road bikes to keep me company as we utilize a local bike/running path to get the job done. 

For those of you interested in the misery that comes along with a 20 miler, or those of you who can easily relate, let me break it down for you. 

I ran all over my home town and the neighboring town, ran more hills than I would prefer and had to repeat loops over and over to get it done because the area we live in is rather small as far as safe running roads go.  Look at those hills!  Especially between miles 2-4 and again right after the 8 mile mark.  Whew. My legs hated me!  Quite thankful that in our planning we chose a flat course!  Our marathon will have two real hills per the course elevation, yay!

Now onto the mile splits and the complaining...

 

 

Mile 1: Feeling great, this is going to be a good run, 8:07, that's way too fast for 20 miles. I have 19 more to go!  Slow it down a little, come on, don't burn yourself out in the first mile

 

Mile 2: 8:36, that's better, try to keep it right around there.

 

Mile 3: Oh shit, here comes that horrible hill.  Well just try to maintain effort and don't worry about pace. 8:44, not too bad for conquering that hill.  Keep it up, the hills not done yet!

 

Mile 4: Ugh, will this hill ever end?!  It's getting hot, gotta take these arm warmers off, stuff them in my waist band.  Can't wait for mile 6 for refueling, must conserve Gu and water. 8:41, not bad, keep it up.

 

Mile 5: This is miserable. I'm only 1/4 of the way done, seriously? I hate this, why did I do a long run today. It's too hot. 8:45.

 

Mile 6: Okay I guess I'm not going to die.  Finish this mile and I can take my first Gu and drink some water finally. 8:43, I'll take that.

 

Mile 7: The people in cars are staring at me like I'm nuts, I am nuts. Why am I out here in this heat?  It's 70 degrees by now, my body is used to 20-30 degree long runs. I may very well collapse from heat exhaustion, not even half way done.  Off with the shirt, please stare some more people.  Yes I'm running in a sports bra and shorts mid-March, it's like a sauna out here! 9:09, crap!

 

Mile 8: Can't let that happen again, no more 9 minute miles, keep it under 9. You can do this Jessy.  You have to do this.  8:40, okay that's better. You rock. Don't give up.

 

Mile 9: I was wrong, I don't rock. I suck. my legs are rebelling, no more hills please.  I can't believe I have 11 more miles to go. 9:12, suck suck suck.

 

Mile 10: On with the down hill. Try to make up some time. Gosh my legs hurt. It's harder going down hill than uphill on these tired legs! Ow ow ow. 8:24, okay I'll take that. That makes up for the last mile that sucked. Half way done, woohoo!

 

Mile 11: More crap. I feel like crap, my legs are crap, my time is crap.  Thank goodness I'm atleast half way done with this crap. 9:15.

 

Mile 12: More of the same, my mind is now on auto-pilot. This run sucks, I just have to accept these awful mile splits and get used to 9 minute pace. Why did I think I could qualify for Boston? All I want to do is finish, screw 3:35! 9:13, I hate you Garmin.

 

Mile 13: As much as I hate this, I feel a little better all of a sudden.  Another Gu taken, one water bottle empty, working on drinking bottle #2. 8:38. Okay maybe I can keep this up. 7 miles to go.

 

Mile 14: Nope, nope, nope. What was I thinking, all I can do is survive the rest of this run.  Picking up the pace isn't an option. 9:26, ugh.

 

Mile 15: 3/4 of the way done, Hallelujah! I can do this, the end is near.  I can survive 5 more miles. 9:09.

 

Mile 16: My water is all gone and I have 4 more miles to go. I'm going to sweat to death.  Dripping in sweat, no water and 30+ more minutes of this hell.  Must refill water bottles!  I'll run home and fill up at the garden hose. Oh no, huge hill to get to my house, legs don't fail me now.  10:12, I don't even care, please just give me water!

 

Mile 17:  Okay Jessy, pick it up. 4 miles. You do this all the time. Quit being such a wimp. Quit complaining so much.  You chose this, you are tough. You can do this.  8:26, holy cow, that was awesome.

 

Mile 18: Approaching my previous longest long run finish line, but I have to keep going.  I said I was doing 20, I'm not quitting. 8:44, I'll take it.

 

Mile 19: It's so hot!  Water bottle #1 is already empty again from drinking and dumping it over my head.  Little girl and her momma stand at the end of their driveway jumping up and down and cheer for me to keep going.  What a boost that was.  I smile and say thank you, shocked that my face still knows how to smile at this point.  I will keep going, thank you! :)  My legs don't want to move but I make them.  I think of Josee and convince myself to keep going. Josee Hope, Josee Hope, Josee Hope. My new mantra with every step. 8:31, I rock.

 

Mile 20: Last mile, suck it up and run. Don't wimp out.  I'm about to finish the longest run of my life. I can't wait to be done!  Legs are on fire, feet are aching in exhaustion, dripping in sweat, water is gone again, no one around to cheer me on now, must finish. Josee Hope, Josee Hope, Josee Hope. My watch beeps for the 20th time: 8:08!  Whew!

 

I can't believe I survived 20 miles.  A year ago I was running a couple miles at a time trying to revive my previous passion for running. Now I'm out running for 2 hours, 56 minutes and 51 seconds, all for "fun".  :) 

 

 

 

Afterwards I took an ice bath to help my legs recover, and wore compression socks and compression shorts for 24 hours.  My legs felt totally fine the next day!  3 days of rest afterwards because I needed it for sure!  Prior to that I had run 18.35 miles, 4 miles, 13 miles, 4 miles and then 20 miles, all in the last 6 days, my legs needed rest. Today I'll get back at it. I'm already prepping for my 20 miler next week.  What can I say, I'm a runner, you already knew I was crazy. :) 

 

A thousand miles later

My running life has come and gone a few times over the years, but one thing has always remained, my love of lacing up my shoes and moving forward with a finish line to reach.  My love for this sport was revived during the last 12 months. 

Don't get me wrong, I never quit loving the run at all, I just lost the passion and drive it takes to technically be "a runner" (even though I never quit calling myself one).  I got married, moved away, went to nursing school, had babies, and did very little running from 2005-2008, and again took a break from 2011-2012. My sister asked me to run a 5K with her last March, so we signed up, froze our butts off and ran the race.  An old high school teammate was at the race and mentioned a sprint triathlon that she thought we should sign up for.  It was the perfect race to motivate me and get me training harder than I had in years. 

The year started out slow as I slowly got back into shape and my legs remembered their love for running as well.  I had injuries, took breaks, ran lots of races: 5k's, 10k's, 10 milers, half marathons, tried new things by racing in triathlons, made lots of new running friends, ran through 100 degree days and 12 degree days, rain, horrendous wind, snow, ice, and sleet, in the dark mornings before work, (note: today's 15 miler started at 0430!) as the sun went down after work, pushing a stroller with 80+ pounds of kid in it, with friends, and many many solo miles, 4 pairs of shoes, tons of Gu, training for another crazy marathon, began running for my sweet Josee Hope in Australia, and over 1000 miles logged in my online running log book.  Through it all I've become so much stronger, mentally and physically.  A 10 mile run once seemed like the longest run ever, now it's a mid week run that I can't wait to conquer. 2 hours of running alone used to seem like torture (who am I kidding, sometimes it still is) and now I log 2 hour long runs almost every week.  A mile under 7 minutes was a figment of my imagination a year ago, now I can run a 5K in 7 minute pace!  Hard work and stubbornness has contributed to most of my success, but the one thing that has gotten me through it all is my love for running.

I LOVE meeting runners, talking about running, visiting running stores, racing and seeing all the other funny, quirky, speedy runners from all around the area.  The fall of 1997 started my journey as I went out for cross country for the first time in 7th grade. Now, almost 17 years later, I can't imagine giving up this sport ever again.  It has always been a part of my past and who I am.  As I begin my 30th year of life tomorrow, I hope that running will always be a part of my future. 

 

 

I hope all of you awesome people find what you love and never stop doing whatever it is that makes you happy and makes you feel alive. 

 

"I don't run because I love the feeling of running. I run because it makes me love the feeling of living."  (and I love the feeling of running too!)  :) 

When will it end?!

This winter I have spent a lot of time whining about the cold. I am in no way claiming that I plan to quit whining either, I hate winter and I hate the cold.  It is nearly impossible to convince my body to step out the door on those freezing cold days, I can't wait to run outside in a sports bra while dripping in sweat! Call me crazy (most people do), I'd much rather whine about the heat than whine about the cold. ;)

This past Sunday the weather man said we would be getting 7-10" of snow along with plenty of ice too...just in time to ruin my long run plans. I tried to tell myself it would be okay, I could do the long run on a weekday, and that it wouldn't affect my training much. But then I thought about all of the people who live in much colder conditions than I do, and they somehow manage to train all winter. I told myself I was going to be super crazy and run in the ice and snow. Thankfully the 7-10" was wrong, but the roads were covered in ice and slush and it was still coming down. I layered up my clothes more than I ever have for a run...two pairs of socks, compression shorts and tights, two long sleeved running tops (one with thumb holes, woot!), and an outer shell/jacket to be a wind barrier. Plus ear warmers, gloves and a neck gaiter to cover my face when necessary. I was warm! Until I stepped out into the 12° feels like -5° weather along with wind and freezing rain. I told myself I would just do 3 miles, 4 tops, my husband kissed me good bye and off I went. To make a long story short, it.was.awesome. it was horrible and cold and my nose was dripping like a faucet but I loved it. One man was out in his driveway and yelled to me, "Now that's dedication. Get it girl." And I got it. :) I was cold and the weather was getting worse so I knew staying out too long wouldnt be smart but I managed to get in 6 miles and I earned my first pair of icicle eyelashes,  something every girl dreams of, right?

It may have been one of the most badass things I've ever done, aside from childbirth.:) As much as I loathe this time of year, I was excited to finish this run and say I did it. I didnt let the weather or my excuses stop me. After all, this marathon isn't going to train itself. No one said it would be easy.

Since my run people have called me "crazy, cray cray, awesome, insane, dedicated, stupid" and plenty of other complimentary names. Whats the craziest thing you've trained through?Happy running! :)

Influences

Yesterday as I was running in the frigid cold, I did a lot of thinking.  I had a recent conversation with some friends about influences and the impression we give youngsters about body image and our health. It got me thinking about the way I portray health to my kids and even to the adults around me.

 My goal in life is to always be an encouragement, to never make someone feel bad about themselves or the way they present themselves to this world, but to also be a good example of healthy living and hopefully inspiration to those around me.  Now I'm not giving myself some big pat on the back or acting like I have to all together.  I. DO. NOT. have it all together. :)  My eating is the worst on some days. If you know anything about me then you know that I am addicted to sugar, I love sweets, chocolate is my favorite food group, I drink soda some and could live off of baked goods I'm sure. Don't get me wrong, I love fruits and veggies and make lots of home made healthy foods too, but if you gave me the choice between fruit salad and chocolate I'd pick the latter every time. That being said, I try my hardest to make good food decisions and feed myself and my family a balanced diet as often as possible. 

I am a running fool as many of you already know, and I hope that my kids and those around me see this as a passion and not an exercise obsession.  When I finish a run I don't think about how many calories I burned (most calorie counters are incorrect anyway), I don't go weigh myself to see if I sweated off some pounds.  I run for miles and miles and miles for the love of it.  I go write down my miles in my log, I blog about it, I add up my miles for the week, the month, the year.  I am constantly in a race to better myself, to get faster and fitter, for the love of the run, not for my physique.  I hope that is apparent and I hope my children never think of exercise as a chore or a necessity to be accepted.  My hope is that they find some form of exercise that they love and they are able to enjoy it for a lifetime.  I have been so lucky to find running at a young age and to have people around me that support my "habit" and allow me the time to continue pursuing my goals. 

I have caught myself worrying about weight, what woman doesn't?  As a runner, now training for a marathon, I am often reading articles about "racing weight" and being light for race day.  If you're going to run 26.2 freaking miles you want to carry less weight over that distance if possible.  However, this isn't what is really important.  Being 5'7" and weighing 120 pounds is unreasonable for me, to get there I'd be a crabby ass and surely weaker as well from restricting what I eat so much.  The articles on Runner's World that talk about body fat and being as lean as possible can tear down anyone, even someone who runs 18-20 miles for fun.  It just isn't helpful. One of my favorite runner girls, Lauren Fleshman, recently blogged about being truthful and Keeping it Real. In her blog she talks about how hard it is as a woman to focus on the important things and the high standards we are always held to.  She is a very wise professional runner and I was so happy to read her honest take on body image. I try to fuel my body and provide my muscles with everything they need to keep going at a reasonable pace without bonking out, and for me that includes chocolate sometimes.  Chocolate makes me happy; I could live off of broccoli but I'd be much less pleasant.  My point is I'm not going to count calories or worry about every pound and conform to the suggestions of some article I read in a magazine.  Maybe they encourage some people, but for me they are just a discouragement.  If my times are improving and my legs are feeling good that's what matters most to me.  The numbers on my stopwatch are much  more important to me than the numbers on the bathroom scale or my pants size.  Whew, I'm really getting on a rant here! 

As a mother to two beautiful little people, I here by solemnly vow to focus on being healthy and happy and not worry about what the outside world thinks of my body, my skin, my hair or my makeup.  I hope you all will do the same. 

 

Life is expensive

This is not a running post, I repeat this is not a running post.  Today I want to talk about debt, and how life can bring on lots of it, and how life is so gosh darn expensive! 

As a young couple with two kids it was easy for the husband and I to rack up bills and continue adding to our list of debt each month.  Credit cards, car payments, student loans, house payments, it adds up so fast and before you know it you're scraping by each  month just to pay these bills.  Every month we dreaded balancing the checkbook, writing all those checks and then being left with little to last til the next pay day.  I know that plenty, probably most people, that I know end up dealing with this at some point in their lives, and sometimes for a large majority of their lives.  It stinks.  So two years ago we decided to try and change that. We knew it would be hard and we knew it wouldn't happen over night. Most things that are worth it take time and patience.  Just like in my running life, I can't expect results over night, I have to work for every step and know that in the long run it will be worth it!  So back to the money business, the husband read a book by Dave Ramsey, most have heard of his theories on erasing debt.  I am in no way affiliated with the Ramsey theory other than we read the book and followed SOME of his suggestions.  We didn't hide money away in envelopes or any of that business.  What we did was focus on our debt and set a long term goal of two years to pay it all off.  When it started it seemed like it would take FOREVER!  24 months of scraping by, 24 months of seeing little change?!  It was daunting to say the least, but we did it.  Here we are, 26 (yeah it took a couple extra months) months later and we did it.  I'll tell you how. 

The idea is to put as much money towards one bill as possible, choose your smallest bill if possible, that way you can get it paid off fast and move on to the next one.  So we focused all of our extra money, little as it may have been, on the smallest bill we had, Jordan's truck payment. We started by paying an extra $100 towards the truck, we made it a point to write out a budget every month and stick to it, cut the wasteful spending on fast food or that extra crap at Wal-Mart that always ends up in the cart somehow.  Then on the chance months that we made extra, worked overtime, got some extra cash, we put it towards this bill.  We were able to pay the truck off a year early.  Then, since we were able to payoff the truck, we used what we had been putting towards the truck and added that to the amount we were paying on our next bill, Jordan's motorcycle {he is well aware that he is spoiled :)}.  So now we have the truck paid off, and we're paying the usual motorcycle payment, along with the $$ that was going towards the truck.  We paid the motorcycle off that August.  On to the next bill, student loans. We paid both of my student loans off by April 2013.  It seemed to take forever!  They were big bills and sometimes we got behind, thanks to the holidays, taxes, etc.  But we kept at it.  We kept making a budget each month and trying to stick to it.  We kept putting all the extra we had into those bills.  So the truck payment, motorcycle payment and the original amount towards those loans was all going into paying off that debt.  By April 2013 we were left with my car payment, the biggest of the payments.  We rolled all of those previous bill amounts into one big bill and diligently paid a large sum of money towards my car payment every month.  Again, we had set backs, but the next month we went back to paying the big debt off.  We had to borrow from our savings some months, but we always paid back the savings the next month and included that in our budget.  As of February 2014, we have paid off all of our debt, aside from our home.  The idea was never to have the house paid off right away, but all of the rest of the big bills are now gone.  Now all of that money can go towards our house, or our savings/retirement.  Something other than bills and interest and debt!  We are beyond excited to have the weight off of our shoulders.  Those bills could have lasted well into our 30's and instead we have it all paid off.  Of course there will be new cars in the far off future but we hope that by relieving this burden we can save better for those cars before we have to actually buy them. 

I realize it all sounds easier said than done, and that's true, it is easier to write it all down.  But we have the budgets saved on our computer desktop to prove it.  We did it, and you can too.  If you're in need of budgeting advice or advice about debt relief look up the Ramsey method.  It worked for us. I hope this rant helps someone to realize you don't have to be stuck under all of those bills forever.  If it helps no one then so be it, but this is my proclamation to the online world, the Beard's are finally free! :)

Have a great day.  Get out there and do something to make your future brighter!

Clean(er) eating

Seeing as my usual preference for food involves chocolate, my diet could use a little tweaking. :)

So yesterday I downloaded the Runner's World cookbook on my Nook and made myself very hungry. We headed to the produce section of the grocery store and I bought foods in every color. I also bought rice and oat flour for baking and more quinoa. I'm not a total doofus to healthy eating, I just have a hard time resisting sweets.

So when we got home I made some paleo style chocolate chip cookies, substituting oat and rice flour for the almond flour my recipe called for. They turned out okay, nothing like the real thing but they are a lot better than no chocolate!

Today I enjoyed some spaghetti squash with red sauce for lunch after my run and a homemade oatmeal protein bar as a snack.

Supper was a delicious spinach, sweet potato and bacon salad along with pan grilled tilapia and egg noodles topped with stewed tomatoes.

Overall it was a good day of food for me, which is a much bigger accomplishment than any run I do. But of course the running counts too. I got in 7 miles through the horrible wind. My legs are worn out from this week so I cut my 10 miler a little short. Happy to get a little rest and recovery in.

Hoping for more sunny days soon!